...

I remembered texting Pam last week (or was it days ago) about songs that I found in my pc or in my ipod that I thought reminded me of love (the drama and the bullshit it brings haha) Now I’m back to this emo state again and I’m sharing to the people the songs that again hit me.  

 

 

 Almost- Tamia

 

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

 

*this is for you..*

 

 

White Flag -Dido

 

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
will be there still
I'll let it pass
and hold my tongue
And you will think
that I've moved on

 

*my ex-bf told me that this song is perfect for me hahaha*

 

 

Better in Time-Leona Lewis

 

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

 

*I wish this song was created during the early stages that I was heartbroken*

 

GRAVITY- SARA BAREILLES

 

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

 

SHIMMER-FUEL

 

And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

 

Chasing Pavements- Adele

 

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

 

OO- Up Dharma Down

 

nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaahasahang
panahon at ngayon akoy iyong iniwan
luhaan, sugatan, d mapakinabangan
sana'y nagtanong ka lang kung d mo lang alam
sana'y nagtanong ka lang kung d mo lang alam

ako'y iyong nasakatan
baka sakaling lang maisip mo naman
hindi mo lang alam kay tagal na panahon
ako'y nandrito parin hanggang ngayon para sayo

 

 

 

 Tanong-Chillitees

 

Ang puso ko ay nagtatanong
Kung kelan ka
Magbabalik saking mundo
Magtitiis para sa’yo
Maghihintay
Na bumalik saking mundo

 

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Sa pagbalik mo, mula sayong paglalakbay
Ngayon ako ay walng makasabay
Ang puso ko ay di masanay

*Tanong- I know the answer to the question already hahaha it’s june 2009 hehe*

* I am crazy about this indie band and I certainly love their songs another one that I love is bumalik (I just can’t find the lyrics in the net) and ikaw (for two people who like each other but both are taken hehe not applicable to me though) *

Collide- Howie Day

 

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

 

 

• Even if you’re a strong person, but sometimes really.. shit happens*

 

Burnout-Sugarfree

 

Oh kaytagal din kitang minahal 2x....

Kung iisipin mo
Di naman dati ganito
Teka muna
Teka lng
Kelan tayo nailang

Kung iisipin mo
Oh di naman dati ganito
Kaybilis kc ng buhay
Pati tayo natangay...

 

• this is my current state haha*

 

shucks I’m so emo today hahaha

 

maybe good things come to those who wait:) or is it really fate that brings us back together? In my previous previous entries I was writing about this special someone whom I've been waiting for almost 6 years already. This guy remains special and will always be special to me and it felt good talking to him earlier after such a long time. (he was using xandra's phone)

I still care for him a lot. He is now in Baguio and was on his way to the operating room (when we were talking) because he saves lives and the reason why he wasn't able to reply to me when I came back was because he lost his sim again, he asked for my number and texted me. This is his 4th number (oops not sure but so far I have 4 numbers in my phonebook under his name) for this year and even if I don't find his number there are circumstances which lead him to find my number or the other way around.

It's mankind vs. me and I would not want him to choose me over mankind. I understand that there are people who need him (his intentions are noble and humanitarian). He promised me that he will visit me in cebu and I know that he intends to keep the promise, he told me he's just trying to fix his schedule but he hasn't changed his mind.

I love the people around him (his family, friends and even his brods) not because of him alone but because these people were there for me during the times when life felt like hell. Cho and Ate Maan took time to help me with my problems and they were always there even if cho is invisible most of the time.

To the people looking for Chona: she is in baguio with her family:)

I have to keep my options open:) I may be writing about different guys but I am not playing with anybody's feelings.

Whoever said that a woman is not entitled to like more than one man?

She was not ready to fall in love
He was too busy to fall in love
It was her event
he was part of the event
She never understood anything about soccer, but needed to execute it well for her project
he loved soccer all his life

They met- no one introduced them to each other but they knew each other by name
He was their crush
He wasn't her crush
People wanted her to take pictures of him
She did what was told to her
He avoided the camera
They ended up having pictures together

She loved parties, she needed to attend events
he loved staying at home
She invited him to her events
He doesn't attend those events
She loves to talk
He is the silent type
She has had quite a number of failed relationships
he is oblivious to his surroundings
She sleeps late and is often seen with people
he sleeps early so as not to be late for work
She hates drawings and is unskilled in that field
Technical drawing, design is his forte
She loves to enjoy
He is the serious type
She drinks- a lot
He doesn't

She is a workaholic but knows how to de-stress
he is a workaholic....
She loves travelling and going to places
He thinks that travelling is a sign that life is indeed too short
They meet again

he wanted to have coffee
She invited him to a party
he came with her
she introduced him to her friends

She loved being with him
He can't be with her
He wanted her to get mad at him for not being there
She knows she doesn't have the right to get mad
he explains everything to her
she doesn't ask for an explanation and tries to understand everything
he apologized
She forgave him

She texts him
he doesn't reply
She thinks he's busy
He thinks she doesn't deserve not to be replied
He ends things
She doesn't understand why
he feels guilty that he cannot reply to her
She doesn't understand why friendship has to end
He thinks she deserves more
She did not demand anything from him
But he still feels responsible
She feels that he's just making an excuse to shut her out of his system
He justifies that he is not making an excuse
She still thinks so..

They quarrel
She doesn't understand why they quarrel
he says sorry
She forgives him
She tells him that he thinks too much
he accepts that he thinks too much

She just wants to forget about what happened
He is still silent
She gives him space
he is still silent
She is the same happy person
he is the same serious person

They will meet again soon...

 

 

I have become such a loner these days.. I was walking again in ayala alone yesterday, trying to enjoy my 1 day off from working on a  stormy weather and from staying up until 3 am for the event.

My back and my whole body hurts probably because I was the one running to and fro, putting the streamers etc etc. I decided to pamper myself and have a stone massage at meddah, which was probably one of the best I had. happy and satisfied, I decided to have an alone time again at the mall, walking while thinking. I don't know if I'm having a quarter life crisis but I really have become so sad these days and I've never felt so alone.

My mom is oftentimes busy and it's different with the life I had back in manila wherein I could just text my sorority sisters to accompany me or I could just go to UP to tambay, go to my barkada's house, go to mapagkawanggawa, go to xavierville which is a few steps from my house. Text shine, carla or janis to have dinner even during the wee hours, text jem or kitte who happen to be my neighbors, to go to meatshop, cantina or drews for a drink. These are the things that I really miss. When I opened my inbox, I received a message from carla telling me that she also misses me. I told her "Batch, namiss ko na pumunta jan as in, mag-isa na naman ako naglalakad sa mall" I was proud to tell her that I have already changed in terms of my preference with men, and I don't let my heart rule" I haven't talked to carla for ages so I decided to call her. She was surprised upon learning that I don't go out on sundays, which was not soo me "Family day kasi sis" I told her.

C: Ikaw ba talaga yan?
P: Oo naman ang dami kayang nagbago sa akin hehe, yun nga lang pag nalulungkot ako wala na akong mabilisang mahatak na mga tao
C: balik ka na lang kasi dito:)
P: Dami ko pa kasing ginagawa eh tapos pag nasstress ako di na ako pwedeng magpagupit kasi ang iksi na ng hair ko haha

carla is one of the people I truly love (to the point that the guys are having doubts of our sweetness and if we are just sorority sisters or if we have a relationship haha) kidding aside, she was one of the people who cried with me, laughed with me and magkamatayan man we have each other. sila ni shine and janis (proven and tested)

P: sis sana naman may maipakilala na akong guy sayo para naman maloka sa sweetness natin haha
C: Oo nga sayang di mo pa nameet si Tom para makita nya sweetness natin hehe
P: But really sis, I'm just happy to realize that there are still good guys out there
C: Oo naman noh, at least yan mabait atsaka gwapo pa,  pero wag ka muna mag give-up sa kanya malay mo:)
P: let's just hope for the best but no expectations baka masaktan na naman ako:) see you soon sis and don't forget I love you
C: I love you too sis and wag ka magpastress masyado hah (you see aren't we sweet?)

After that conversation, I received a reply from former MEB of Beta Epsilon, Chet (he's also working in cebu). I was glad to have another person here. We met in ayala and I had to think of a resto, where we could have a satisfying dinner:) After our dinner at Tongs we went to Formo and I was happy to know that it was his birthday the next day (today).

Tash, the former head of Sigma Alpha is in Cebu also (she is a friend of  Sis Jem Gallego and she became my friend also) atsaka ka-batch ko sila ni chet na naging head that's why I see both of them usually during frat-soro meetings:) glad to have them around at least marami na kami dito. :) more to come and happy birthday chet!!!

 

whew!!! that's all I could say for now. After all the hardwork in organizing everything- getting the bands, getting sponsors, the set-up (in which I climbed the scaffold and posts for the streamers), the bad weather (I was at the venue 8 am and I was in a panic mode because most of the streamers were torn), the stress (which made me cut my hair this short), the permits and everything else combined all I could say is I'm happy, extremely happy that we were able to reach 6,000-8,000 audience despite the typhoon.

congratulations to the organizing committee and to all the people who have helped in making this event possible. Thank you to all the bands that played and to our sponsors (Nokia, ABS-CBN, M. Lhuillier, Pepsi, San Miguel, Paseo, Marco Polo, IPI, Cebu Daily News, Monster Radio, Bite Magazine and yehey.com).

Special thanks to the following people: Ms. Jaja Chiongbian-Rama, Ms. Tess of Paseo, Trixie Tolentino, Donna and Vera of ABS-CBN, Anabelle Balanzar of CDN, Carlo Borromeo of Marco Polo, Paolo of Monster Radio (who was our host for the night), Ms. Girly Garces of SMB, Sir Ricky and Louie of Pepsi, Djs Kulas and Dave Tornado of DYLS, people from Mag TV, Gabe of IPI, the whole group from Nokia and M. Lhuillier, Ian of Sound Balloon, people from Bite Magazine and to all the people who joined us in celebrating the world music day, thank you so much.

Thank you also to the press people who supported us for this event. CDN, freeman, sunstar, monster radio, charlie fm, what's on expat. (sorry if there are those I forgot)

congratulations to Les Amis de la France, Arts Council of Cebu and European Chamber of Commerce of the Philippines

here are some of the pics from the event

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First published 6 June 2008 The Manila Standard Today INTEGRATIONS maya baltazar herrera There are no children here. This week, I went to a meeting at the UP School of Economics and came away with renewed belief in the value of the UP experience. If you speak to anyone from UP – student, professor, alumnus - you will get no Latin slogans or apologies about how the school teaches values in spite of its outward materialism.  This is not a student population that thinks about basketball games or memorizes school songs.  This is not a school that chooses one statement to drill into the minds of its students. This is not, of course, to say that UP does not care about values.  It is that UP, in its own inimitable way, believes that values cannot be force-fed. The statue of the naked man that guards the entrance to the campus in Diliman best represents UP's approach to all education and the respect for students that is the center of its educational philosophy.  All who come to this university, regardless of origin, bring themselves naked, carrying nothing but their thirst; like the proverbial empty teacup, making an offering of self, waiting to be filled. Adults For many students from private schools, the first lesson that is learned here is that this is a school for adult education.  There are no children here, and that is why no parents are allowed either at freshman orientation or during enlistment.   The spirit of the oblation lies not in a mother or a father offering up his child to the world,  it is that of the newly adult, freely offering of his self.  I remember quite vividly that moment that drove home how different the UP education continues to be.  It was my daughter's first semester in university and she had invited a group of her high school friends to our house.  One of them asked a classmate whether she had gotten her parents permission form approved for that weekend's outreach activity. From the UP population around the table came the mock horrified responses of: "Permission? " and "Outreach?" I thought about it and realized that all of these students were, in fact, legally adults.  I thought it interesting that only the UP students appeared to appreciate this fact.  Even more interesting was the "outreach" comment.  I think back to my own university years and the last three years that my daughter has been in UP and am certain there is no lack of civic activity.  There are medical missions, house building projects, tree planting, community work and barrio work and so on. I realize now that the reaction was not to the activity as much as it was to the use of the word. One of the most important differences of the UP campus from all the other campuses my children considered going to is that this campus has no walls.  Many parents fear this.  They are afraid their precious children will not be protected from the ills of society in a campus that is so open to the rest of the world. But UP is open to the world in more ways than just not having the physical walls. Community Being in UP means much more than being a student.  This campus is enmeshed in a community.  This community is made up not only of the transient population of students who go home at the end of each day.  It includes the many, many students who lay their heads on dorm pillows every night, enduring time away from families in the firm belief that this campus will bring them closer to their dreams.  This community includes the families of faculty and employees who live on campus.  It also includes the many people who do not work for the University, but nevertheless work on campus.  This community includes the lady who remembers the brand of cigarette you smoke and automatically hands it to you in the morning.  It includes the gentleman who remembers you like pepper on your egg sandwich or the one who knows you will dip your fish balls into two of his sauces and patiently waits for you to eat your three sticks before being paid.  It includes the woman  who saw all her children through college by selling peanuts every day on campus. To a UP student, the daily heartbeat of the school is never far away from the realities of the country.  The word outreach suggests that civic activity is something outside of the normal, something you do once in a while.  It must be immensely difficult to think of community as a thing apart when your campus experience brings you face to face with all of the world's realities every day.  Character  All of this probably explains that unmistakable sense of self that you will find from students who come from this campus. Here is a campus where all have the same opportunities to learn.   But, also, here is a campus that will give all the same opportunities to fail.  There are no guidance counselors who will chase after you because you have been skipping classes.  The attitude this university takes is that you must take the initiative – for learning, for seeking help, for realizing you need help.  That is not to say that no help exists.  But it is help that is not forced upon you. This is a university rich in both introspection and conversation.  On this campus, the student is constantly exposed to people – faculty, administrators, community members, other students – who care deeply and passionately about the world.  The conversations are almost never purely cerebral.  A single graph can provoke comments about government policy and its effects on people. As a result, UP is home to a student population that looks at the world and cares.  It is easy to see pictures of protesting students and dismiss it as radicalism.  But there are few campuses in this country where students go beyond a passing curiosity about what is happening in the world beyond their own lives.  There are even fewer universities where students not only care but also actually believe they have a responsibility to make a difference – not in some hazy future – today. And that, I believe, is what truly forges character.  Character is not molded by speeches or long classes in ethics or theology.  Character grows from within.  It begins by being handed the keys to your own self and being told you are in charge; you now have power over yourself and your own actions – and with that power, you take on responsibilities. Each student in this university goes through his own unique voyage of discovery.  On this voyage, as he decides what he cares about, what he will fight for and what he will sacrifice, he crafts his own personal values.  That is what education is truly about. *from my sorority sisters' entry*   HAPPY BIRTHDAY UP!!!!

really my phone doesn't stop beeping, if the beeping stops it will then be ringing. I rarely get enough sleep due to text messages and calls. People call me at 11 pm, 2 am, 7 am. I am now a 24/7 person. If I turn it off, I am afraid that something might go wrong with the things that I'm doing or something might not be done. This is very unhealthy.

I have been receiving calls/text messages from suppliers, production crew, partners, some band members, sponsors and etc. I don't even have a decent meal these days wherein I could eat properly without interruption, every bite there is always a text message or a call.

I will make it a habit of turning my cellphone off after 10 pm and turning it on at 8 am. I deserve to get some rest huhuhu

* Ok I made a draft and it was automatically got lost so it means its not meant to be posted or it is meant to be modified haha*

I did promise myself to drop/withdraw my feelings for this certain someone because of fear of a lot of things and fear on what I really feel(I am in a state of limbo right now). But it seems that the more I try, the more I fail and the more I try to stop the feeling, the more I am pulled towards him.

In my previous relationships I am in control and I tend to have it my way. I always demand that the guy should give me what I want (maybe not on things that have monetary value) and I never give in during fights and arguments(I don't apologize even if it was my mistake and I will never accept defeat) . When I want the guy to be with me during the time that I want him to be, he should be there or else.. I don't call men and I seldom reply to text messages, unless it is work related or business and I don't allow men to give me anything or pay for me, I would choose that I am the one who will pay rather than the guy paying for me. 

But for the first time, I have learned to accept defeat and give in. He tells me that he cannot always give me what I want, not because he doesn't want to but there are just reasons why things are not possible(at least that is what I understood with the things happening). He'd rather have world war 3 with me, which I declared and lost at the end by the way, and I did forgive him. He doesn't want to accept anything from me, even if it's sand from europe that I am giving to him because he tells me it's not right for me to do that.

I am not the patient type of person and I don't wait and I know I can be very stubborn, but it's a twist of fate and it surprises me and it gives me jitters in a way on why I am like this to him, allowing this guy to win and accepting the things that he wants. I actually hate feeling this way and I hate not being in control.

But my officemates told me that I should not make people accept things that I want them to and make them do things the way I want it because people have different lifestyles and I cannot expect them to live and act the same way as I do. Being an only child, I am given almost everything that I want, if not everything, and I always win in trying to get what I want. If I don't get the approval of my mom, I have grandma, my titos and titas to the rescue. I am not a spoiled brat, but I admit to be living a sheltered and blessed life.

I am in the midst of turning back because I know that these soccer boys are aware that there are a lot of  women who drool over them and I don't want to be branded as such. I don't want to be identified as one of those girls who are after him and I don't want to be "just one of those girls". 

Is this karma? Or is this God's way of making me realize that I am selfish in thinking only of myself and the things that I want? Or am I afraid because I've met my match?

Again and Again I will be careful this time:) I will try my best to get out of this trap before it's too late and from day one I have been telling myself that I will not let his magic take effect on Me.

 

this is life..there are days when you are so happy and there are days when you feel so sad and you just want to cry, get drunk, get lost or go somewhere in a place where no one knows.

life is not always perfect and life is not always happy.

Please please give me a reason to be happy..

I cried and I feel like crying again and again because people can be so unfair, when you've done your best and yet the only thing they see are your mistakes or the things you haven't done.

I hope the days to come will become better:)

* Since the day I came back, I barely saw my mom (like less than 5 hours), it was both our fault. Two workaholic ladies who are addicted to what they are doing. We forced each other or she forced me to accompany her to a boutique and have her dress made, if it weren't for that, we just saw each other for 2 hours this week.

* The song, I'm yours gives me the feeling of being in love, ohhh even if it's just a feeling

* I didn't like the way Enrile treated my boss last Friday.  Not because 2 of the people in that incident were my superiors - but ako yung nabastos para sa kanila. I mean I am really affected kasi naman kahit pa ano yung pagkakaiba ng opinyon ng 2 partido di pa rin makatao ang trato nya, yes the JFC (Joint Foreign Chamber) wrote a letter directly to the president and they felt bypassed pero naman.. ang sabihin ni Enrile "if you cannot live with us..then better get out of this country" Come on, let's be true to ourselves, wag tayong magmayabang na sobrang yaman na ng Pilipinas para di na kailangan ng mga foreigners/foreign investors atsaka para bastusin ng ganun sa simula pa lang ng pagsabi ng magandang hapon, ay binara na ni Enrile na we understand english blah blah and they weren't even allowed to finish reading the joint statement.

So as everybody knows, these foreigners that he wants to kick out of this country are trying their best to help the Philippines and I can attest to that, kasi ako yung isa sa gumagawa ng project para sa kumpanya ko. I work so hard to be able to implement these projects, these advocacies. Other than Fete, the marketing, events that I am doing, we are doing a lot of things for healthcare and wellness, human capacity building, research and development to help exporters, creative industries initiative, beautification, traffic management and etc.

One thing that I am very proud of the company that I am working for is wala kaming politika, hindi madumi, maayos mag-alaga ng mga tao and the employees have the vision in helping this country.

*nuff said..you will understand my sentiments if you were in my place because I have been working so hard through my projects, to help this country in one way or another*

* I promised myself to stop/withdraw my feelings for this one guy who has been apathetic with what I feel about him, I don't want to fall deeply in this trap and get hurt at the end. I promise to give myself a deadline-this week na lang talaga, pag wala pa rin ayoko na (again I'm careful this time)

* Sleeping is till my favorite past time:)

* Everything has a reason:) maybe he came to my life to make me realize that I still have the capacity to like somebody else and make myself vulnerable

* But Honestly, I am close to falling for this guy (sige kahit mas mahal mo pa ang football haha) but I don't want to get hurt..  I know I like him because I can accept the fact that he has other priorities and still I can accept it:)

* I will decide on what to do with my feelings this week:) a deadline is a deadline

 

* I actually forgot that our background/lay-out is that color, I wore a red-orange dress and it made me look too in-love with this event. The people in the room were already teasing me but honestly, I completely forgot. At least I dressed up according to the theme red-orange and white. But it was so funny.

* special thanks to all the press people who came (CDN,Sunstar, Freeman, monster radio, charlie, expat news, bite, abs-cbn) and my good friend's (audrey) sister happens to be the lifestyle writer of freeman, so she was also there:). Thanks to cecille for the lovely cake. We gave the mini cakes to the press.

About Fete de la Musique:

Les Amis de la France, Arts Council of Cebu Foundation, Inc and the European Chamber of Commerce of the Philippines together with ABS-CBN, M. Lhuillier Philippines and Nokia are proud to present the FIRST FETE DE LA MUSIQUE (Cebu) 2008 on Saturday, June 21, 2008 from 5:00pm to 4:00 am at Paseo, Cebu.

Fete de la Musique

started out in France in June 21, 1982. A French Memorandum was issued lamenting the sad and sorry state of the millions of musical instruments stored in the closet and cupboards of French artists. It started the idea of setting aside one day of each year to give all musicians, professionals and amateurs alike, an opportunity to play and showcase their talent in every venue conceivable.

Since then Fete has spread to Australia, Belgium, United Kingdom, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Costa Rica, Israel, India and many more. Today Fete is considered as one of the most popular music festival in the world with over 120 countries joining in this simultaneous celebration.

The first Fete de la Musique in the Philippines was held in Metro Manila in the year 1994 having more than 30 bands coming from the different music genre and has been celebrated yearly since its birth. Last year(2007) the music of Fete de la Musique echoes in four diferent stages having heard by more than twenty thousand spectators who were present to witness the live performances of various artists.

The highly anticipated Cebu debut of Fete de la Musique

will feature performances by over twenty bands with Junior Kilat, Hardwood, Island Joe, Powespoonz to name a few.

The event not only gives an opportunity for artists to showcase their music, for people to hear music and for instruments to be displayed and utilized; the primary success of it lies in bridging people from all walks of life, all culture, and all levels of society. For that one day, there are no barriers, no walls. All are one in celebrating the universal language that is music.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm blending in with the color hahaha  and obviously I still lack sleep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm working with european partners, louis, ms. domique and david (not in photo)

 

 

with  the artists and the press

hoy budoy ayaw sa ug sibat..wala pa ta mahuman....hahaha

I am not a person who tends to judge other people but due to the circumstances occuring in my life, I felt the need to say these things and for some people to UNDERSTAND

On men:

1. I DON"T DATE MARRIED MEN-a big NO NO, even if you will give me millions, I'd rather not.

2. I DON'T DATE Men who already have girlfriends- I am a woman and I have respect for other women's feelings

3. I Will not Date a man who is already courting/in the process of entering in a  relationship with another woman- I am sensitive to other people's feelings, ayoko talaga makasakit ng ibang tao.

4. I will not Date/be in a relationship with a man who is not sure of his sexual preference

Work:

1. Work and Pray (Ora et Labora) -I learned this when I was still in elementary, in Saint ben and I live by it right now

2. Passion, Commitment and Determination- in any thing and everything I do

3. It doesn't matter how you do it, just do it

 

Friends:

1. Never ever judge or tell your friend what to do- as a friend, a person's role is to be there for the other and not to judge her or scrutinize her.

2. Be generous to your friends- in doing this you will know who your true friends are if they don't abuse you

3. Be good, friendly and nice even if others are not

4. Be a true friend and never leave your friends behind- I know I am most of the time busy, but I always try to help a friend in need.

God's Blessings and Faith

1. Always share what you have with others

2. Pray

3. Don't forget to thank God for his blessings

4. Talk to God when you pray, don't just pray.

Others:

1. Forgive and don't let anger rule your life

2. Always aim for perfection

3. Smile and laugh as hard as you can

4. Pamper yourself and don't forget to treat yourself

5. It's ok to be overdressed

6. Be happy

* I might have forgotten some things but more or less these are the reasons why i live a happy, peacefula nd contented life, at least for me close to perfection.

I would like to invite everyone to support two of the things I'm doing (projects) right now, La Vie en Rose and Fete De la Musique.

This might be the last time that I will be able to promote(hopefully not) the event because of the one million and one things that I have to do but I would like to ask you, the people you know, the friends of the people you know to support the two events.

watch the showing of La Vie en Rose at SM Cinema on June 14. It is open to the public.

Fete de la Musique will be on June 21 at Paseo from 5 pm to 4 am. A little background of the event, fete de la musique (world music day) is celebrated all over the world on june 21. The event started in manila already since the early 90's but it will be celebrated in cebu for the first time this year. We will have more or less 24 local bands playing on that day (all coming from the different music genre). Other details to follow. This event is brought to you by Arts Council of Cebu, Les Amis de la France and The European Chamber of Commerce of the Philippines (where I belong)

* Putting the event all together is not an easy task. This is one of the reasons why I had to go back early here and why I felt I needed to have a haircut the moment I arrived in the Philippines. The reason why I had an "alone time" in Ayala, walking to and fro, thinking about so many things-decisions, conversations, commitment etc etc. The reason why my temperature rises every now and then as if I'm wanting to kill someone and that I constantly dream about the things I have to do in the next days to come.

But nevertheless, I know people will be happy to watch the two events and I hope many people will be there to witness the celebration of music in cebu. I am very passionate about this event because eversince I was in college, I have always watched Fete de la Musique in Manila and I have always wondered who were the people responsible in organizing the event and that someday I would want to be part of the organizing committee. In other words, it is a dream come true and I am not just part of the organizing committee but I am one of the project heads. (Tough luck again haha shall I say?)

*Two band members (from 2 different bands) texted me yesterday after the contract signing "Ms. Pia you look great with your new hairstyle" I couldn't help but laugh, well maybe I am wrong in thinking that my new hair made me look like a korean porn star hahaha

*I am the one who created the multiply account for fete but, unfortunately, I did not add myself as one of the friends for the account (I honestly forgot about myself hahaha). I am not the only one managing the account but don't be surprised if I will soon add people to that account.

*for further information about the two events feel free to send me a message

* I have been away for weeks and I have been thinking and analyzing/contemplating on what I really feel for this certain someone. Missing him just made me sure that I really like him, liking him so much that it hurts (weird so dramatic, he's not hurting me naman haha) . I was happy upon realizing that I am still capable of liking someone in a romantic level (more than friends less than lovers- at least for me) but I really don't know what he feels though or if he's capable of feeling anything haha (joke lang, you might get mad at this na naman wink wink haha). I actually don't care if he likes me in a mutual manner (haha defensive) what is important for me is that we are friends, disregard all the romantic emotions and I'm happy to have this person as a friend.

But what is in him that I really like? I mean at an instant. Well set aside the physical attributes, aside from the fact that I like guys with small eyes, the chinese/japanese looking men. For the first time, I have felt that I am not good enough for a guy and that this guy makes me want to improve myself or he inspires me to become a better person. I told janis and carla this, in one of my emo moments that I felt like I'm a  bad girl compared to him (well I know I am not a bad person and there is nothing wrong with what I'm doing) and we are just 2 different people coming from 2 different worlds. My life is too exciting (for lack of a better term). I used to party a lot, go to almost all the bars, drink all kinds of drinks, mix-up with people, I never cared on how I will spend my money, I am spending too much on so many things (going to different places, buying the things I want etc etc). I believe in living life to the fullest, though sometimes it gets out of control. I am stubborn in a sense that I always want to get what I want and I always want it my way. On the other hand, he always follows what is right, lives by the rules. He is such a law abiding citizen (there are only few people like him in this world) I am not even sure if he drinks or should I say I am a better alcohol drinker than him, he sleeps early so as not to be late for work and I think he just sends sms after work, hopefully he's not a vegetarian(or probably he is), he is passionate about his sport (well I need to also for work's sake), he is good with technical stuff (and I hate doing all those drawings). Bottom line we are different, opposite in so many ways.

Whatever it is that I am feeling, I am just thankful that this guy brought back the magic that was stolen(I thought I will have a heart of stone forever haha), he made me realize unconsciously that in some ways I have to open my eyes, mind and heart that there are still men out there who are better, that despite being aimed by an arrow, knowing that the wounds haven't been completely healed, there is still hope that I will open up myself to someone without fears, doubts and hesitations again.

Like what he always tells me "only time will tell" kudos to that, we don't know if I will leave soon again, or I won't be staying in cebu for long but it's great knowing you, it's great to know that there are still those good guys and you happen to be one of them.  

Something just irks me- my new haircut made me look like a korean pornstar (might be an exaggeration haha but I seriously think so- ok ok sexy star would be more proper to use) I was pissed off with so many things that I felt I needed to have a haircut and I got more pissed off after seeing my hair. I mean the cut was good and all, I just didn't think that it would look that way. Anyway it is in some ways related to this entry..because I am thinking that when I am with him, it would look like one of those Asian films - the japanese looking leading man with the korean girl as partner. Don't you think it would look good in the movies?? hahaha I'm really crazy, this is just one the crazy things on my mind haha.

just a few notes of the things worth remembering about being in Rotterdam

aside from sleeping in the airport and getting into another train without knowledge on whatsoever. I would like to add a few:

* on my first day we almost got caught by the police- carla(peru), robertson(nicaragua) and I ( all members of the happy group in our training) decided to buy alcoholic beverages to help us with our sleeping problems. I was so amazed when I saw barcardi cocktails in bottles so I was excited to purchase it. We weren't actually aware that it is strictly prohibited to open these alcoholic beverages in public. And with all the cameras in rotterdam, the police saw us and told us to pay 60 euros each and they were taking us to the police station. After further negotiations and a lot of explaining they forgave us and told us that it serves as our warning, but the next time we will be put to jail waaaah.

* I won in the slot machine in the holland casino. It was just luck, really, I didn't know how to place the money inside that machine and it was the 1st time that I was inside a casino (I was kicked out in the las vegas casino before because I was underage). My Happy friends/training mates thought I was just joking but I showed them the money so I had to treat them out for food. No more money for me haha Europe is so expensive haha

*Shops really close early and we just go shopping/window shopping during lunch breaks

*I now understand why there is an addiction to the brand H&M, I am also addicted to it (now I understand my sorority sister janis), welcome me to the club sis haha. I would have wanted to buy that store only if I can haha

* People in Europe are so much into these "clothing sale", take for example, when I went to one of my favorite brands, Zara (it was on sale at that time) to buy my mom dress, jeans and shirt, it was like I was  in a tiangge grabbing for the clothes that I want and I wasn't able to buy my mom a dress because the zipper of most of the dresses were destroyed

* I won't be able to go to Paris, the train ticket was uber expensive 100 euros plus plus. I might end up walking to the philippines haha. Plus I heard there's a strike so I might not be able to attend my class.

* I thought that Rotterdam is such a  boring city, but I've been to a very nice bar (the best I've been to) it's called STRAND or the locals call it THE BEACH, it gives you the beachy feeling, open air, with all the sand, the harbour as the background, nice music, happy people. I want to go there everyday.

*There is nothing else to do during the night so we just go to the bars and enjoy. But despite the happy and fun life, I can say that I did not put my country to shame. I have always been participative in class and most of the time I am the one chosen to present. Like the usual, I party hard but I work/study harder.

* another thing, I seriously think that managing the toilet (I mean as a business) would earn so much, in every toliet/comfort room in europe they charge around 40-50 cents. Could you just imagine how much they earn in a day?

* being a person who loves wearing heels (for one I am not gifted with height) my toes and feet have given up and I bought flats to be able to walk properly. People in Rotterdam, ride in bicycles to be able to transfer from one place to the other. I am totally inexperienced with bicycles thats why I opt for the other one- walking for fitness, but it was just in Rotterdam that I have given up on heels.

*more and much more to come*

Just tried to squeeze this in during our break from our training class..(pics soon to follow)

*Arrived on the 17th in Schipols and since our booking in Hilton, Rotterdam is still on the 18th I had to stay overnight at Schipols airport. The airport was such a beautiful place, a shopping mall inside with some fast food chains

*my train at an instant cancelled a trip to Rotterdam, so I had to take another train from another place..I thought I was lost but it was actually the trains fault.

* you can never have  a complete meal for less than 5 euros, for additional ketchup in mc donalds, it has a charge.

* the shopping area  is just beside the hotel and there are a few outlet shops of famous brands, I think it's God's will not to let me find the location of Zara and Mango.

*got to meet the participants from other countries and I'm the youngest in the group.

*shops close at 5 pm so no more extra time to shop on a week-day.

* My group won in the game earlier this morning, we call our group AF-AS (African Asian) experts. My team mates were from Vietnam, Bangladesh and Uganda.

 

 

It's hard to figure out why people can be so sensitive about things, reading something from somewhere, not receiving emails on-time, not being updated and stuff. Or maybe yet, I am not a person with issues and I always prefer a lighter mood, to laugh as hard as I can, to smile and not to blunder on petty stuff. I can get mad one time but after a few hours, I'm ok already. I seldom if not rarely, get mad.

But I might have been insensitive on certain things, which may have offended someone or I may have thought just about myself in getting what I want, or in wanting to get what I want without taking into consideration the difficulties of other people (time, place, distance etc). Sometimes I tend to become apathetic also with my environment upon thinking that everything is just alright and I am the only one who has the right to get mad or to get disappointed. 

Sorry-I wrote it in my blog last time that I was a bit mad and now through this blog I will say sorry.

I'm gonna miss a lot of things in the philippines- I wasn't able to go to the eccp 30th anniv, I will not be in our family gathering and fiesta, and yes I will miss you (you know that! wink wink)

I am already leaving later and it seems like I am still not ready for anything. As what my sorority sister Janis told me, there will always be things that will go wrong during the last minute hehe. I had that feeling yesterday that when one goes wrong..everything else goes wrong also. But nevertheless, come what may...

Thank you to my sorority sisters for all the help and support-Sis Bopeep for giving me the contact of the phil embassy, Sis Ida for contacting her friend if I could stay for one night, Janis for all the travel tips, industry profiles and Zandie for all the help with my study/research.

Super thanks also to my friends (you know who you are, no need to mention names haha) for all the support. See you all when I come back

I am leaving on the 17th and yet I have a lot of things on my mind/worries/problems/unforeseen events, and it seems that it was just today that it got into me that I am leaving and that I won't be going just somewhere near like Manila or Davao.

Here are some of my pre-departure woes:

A. I found out just today that I will be arriving In Netherlands on May 17 at 18:65 initially my travel agency told me that it will be on the 18th, our check-in date in Hilton is still on the 18th, so where do I stay on the 17th? I've heard that Schipols airport is really nice but I don't think I would wish to stay there for a whole day with all the things I have with me.

Solutions in Mind: 1. Ask CBI to allow me to check-in at an earlier date
                          2. Look for some friends, friends of friends who can help me
                          3. Contact the Philippine Ambassador to Netherlands (Sis bopeep's cousin) in-case I will be having problems
                          4. Stay in the airport and enjoy taking pictures, heck, what is one day anyway

B. I am still not halfway done with my training assignment (God help me!) it has five chapters and I am still in chapter 1 (hey I'm not being defensive that I didn't do my homework but it is not as easy as what you think it is). I just have to finish writing and getting data until chapter 3 of the export/import industry marketing plan and I have tons of data with me-information overload. Plus I am sick and I needed to rest well or else my feeling gets worse.

Solutions in Mind: 1. Cram (this I am an expert, being a journ graduate, beating deadlines with paperwork)
              2. Just finish gathering all the data and write the paper in netherlands
              3. Don't do anything at all (why was I thinking of this? Do I want to put myself to shame hehe erase erase erase)

C. I am sick, for  a week already. I have to rest/sleep early or else I would not feel any better when I arrive in netherlands. It will be spring when I arrive in there but it will still be very cold.

Solution: there is no better solution than to rest, but, I wouldn't be able to do a lot of things especially my report/papers pending projects. I often dream about the things I have to do for work (believe me this is such a bad sign). I am forcing myself to sleep early but..where do I squeeze in my pre-training assignment. There should be a guardian angel out there who will be able to help me...volunteers?

D. I still didn't study the map on where it leads me.. (well it just got into me today, when I received my Visa, that "hey pia, you're leaving in 3 days time and you still have no preparations, no map for netherlands, no glasses for you to see the signs, your mom is the one buying the other things that you need, you're sick, you didn't finish your assignment yet, you still have no booking for cebu-manila, you just got your ticket today as well as your visa, you just had your cash advance approved today, you haven't change your money to euros and in-case pia, you're forgetting you still don't know where you will stay for day 1.)

was I really planning to leave?

I have these problems weighing down on me, but hell, I have a lot of things on my mind also for work and my projects and responsibilities are not easy to deal with ( I wouldn't get sick and stressed out if it can just be handled by a thinking mind). I would like to forgive myself for forgetting the actual time that I am leaving(my mom asked me several times on what time is my flight, I just answered her several times also that I forgot), and for not finishing the things I need to finish for my trip.

Our big boss emailed one time that he would want my training moved to a later date because he is afraid that nobody will take over my projects when I leave, but everything is done already and he just wants to make sure that when I leave I won't leave anything undone.

I'll just do what I can do... finish what I can finish..wish me luck.